Three times in recovery for three different reasons - getting caught, getting an ultimatum, and finally through his own decision. The following is a story about Ian who almost took his own life before he got clean.
Ian was born and raised in Cleveland Ohio with his younger sister. He remembers being a good kid and was really involved in extracurricular activities in school that included sports and playing the cello. He spent his free time volunteering at the metro-parks and participating in fishing derbies along the Cuyahoga River. Ian never drank in high school as he had seen the effects of alcoholism in his family.
Ian went away to college and tried drugs for the first time. He started using more drugs and selling them to other students. Ian stayed one-semester and moved back home to attend a community college. Ian was doing “ok” until he had a 4-wheeling accident and broke his collarbone. He was prescribed Percocet and remembers that the prescription pills would not relieve his pain, so he turned to heroin. He only used heroin a few times and stopped after he healed from his injuries.
A few months later he was offered heroin again. Ian remembers how easy it was to pick up again since he had done it before.
Ian was sent to detox after his mom walked in on him shooting up. Ian stayed in detox for 6 days and was initially introduced to the 12-step program. All through treatment, Ian remembers thinking he did not have a real problem - he just got caught. After rehab Ian managed to stay clean for a few months. He does not remember the exact details, but he started using again, and again was caught by his dad who found drugs in his room. Ian promised his parents that he would stop on his own. He tried for about a week but could not quit. Ian was given a final ultimatum by his parents - go to treatment or leave the house.
Ian’s second treatment was in Florida and it was not a good experience, but he completed the program and moved a sober-living home. He stayed clean for around 3 months and ended up relapsing with several of his roommates. One of the guys he was with overdosed but was revived. This near overdose really scared Ian so he decided to move back home. Living back home was better for Ian and he was working. A few weeks later, Ian found out that the guy he knew in Florida overdosed again and died. Eventually Ian started using again and was basically ‘hiding out in the basement’ hoping no one would catch him.
Ian fell asleep at a red light and got an OVI (operating a vehicle while impaired) and spent the weekend in jail. He received a suspended license, paid a fine, and was required to take a naltrexone shot for 3 months.
After the 3 months on the shot, Ian relapsed again. Ian recalls that the following months were the worst time of his life - no job, no money, a complete decline in his health, and he was isolated from his family and friends. The next two weeks were a breaking point for Ian. He knew he was hurting his mom and did not want her to find him dead one day. Soon his thoughts turned to suicide and he even arranged to get a gun. Ian remembers waking up and changing his mind on the day he planned to kill himself. Ian instead called a friend that he knew who worked in treatment. That same friend helped him get admitted to a 30-day residential program in California. After detox was completed, Ian transferred to Coastline Behavioral Health.
This was the third time Ian was in treatment. For the first time in his life, Ian wanted to get clean and stay clean because he had lost everything and did not want to die.
Ian remembers coming to Coastline and wanting to get his life back - to go back to school, to do things he once enjoyed, to be happy, and to finally accept himself. During his 6 month stay in the program, Ian describes the time as an “awakening” and he really enjoyed experiential therapy, especially surfing and the beach. At the same time, Ian worked diligently with his treatment team, got a sponsor and started working his 12-steps. He also worked on his dream of completing the certification program for his Loctician License so he could open his own business doing dread-locks.
Ian is extremely insightful about his addiction and what it did to his life. For his relapse prevention project, he so eloquently wrote, “Active addiction is a soul taking spell.”
Today, Ian is staying strong in his recovery. He continues to work with his sponsor on the 12-steps, goes to meetings and believes in his higher power. Ian now opens his mouth when something is bothering him. Ian is learning to like and accept himself, and is also repairing the wreckage he caused with his family. When asked about his mother, Ian’s face lights up with a smile and he says, “Yeah, today things are really good with my mom.”